


And then there was Old Mr. Fell

by Donotmind_mehere, Tea_is_Not_Them



Category: Creepypasta - Fandom, Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bookshop Snake Crowley (Good Omens), Creepypasta, Humor, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), Other, Snake Crowley (Good Omens), random new character, what if someone wrote a creepypasta about Aziraphale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:53:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23859370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donotmind_mehere/pseuds/Donotmind_mehere, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tea_is_Not_Them/pseuds/Tea_is_Not_Them
Summary: “Creepypasta,” he said aloud with an amused smirk.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 85





	And then there was Old Mr. Fell

Crowley was scrolling through his phone, on the couch in the back room of the Soho bookshop. He wasn’t looking at anything in particular, just passing the time before the shop closes and dinner with his angel. Something caught his eye through his mindless scrolling and it was almost enough to make him laugh.

“Creepypasta,” he said aloud with an amused smirk. 

What was so creepy about noodles, he wondered, it almost sounded like something Aziraphale would have said. He clicked the link and was intrigued by the sight that met him. It was a plain website, with a black background and the word “Creepy Pasta” written in red and white text at the top of the page and below it a sorting system, for what, Crowley was definitely interested in. 

Crowley clicked the first link “Top Ranked,” and was met by tiles that had strange thumbnails, brief descriptions, a rating number and a read now button. 

Crowley didn't read often, but this was different, this definitely had him hooked. 

He spent the better part of the day reading stories about over exaggerated cryptids, serial killers, ghosts, imaginary monsters, and supernatural beings of all sorts. As soon as he had his fill he was about to click out of the site as his interest in it was waning, until he saw something that, for the second time that day, peaked his interest. It was a story, just like all the others he had read, except the Thumbnail, Title, and Description were very familiar to him. The thumbnail was a drawing of an ominous looking man with platinum hair, in a suit that must have been 180 years old, and iris-less eyes (the only thing that did not register as familiar to him). Half of the man’s body was covered by shadow, with a rather impressive black serpent slithering out of the shadows, the title was ”And then there was Old Mr. Fell” with the description describing A.Z. Fell and Co and “Old Mr. Fell” and the real reason why, no one goes there after their first visit. 

Immediately Crowley jumped to his feet.  
“Aziraphale!” he called for the angel.

“Aziraphale, I think you might want to take a look at this.” he said, getting up and walking over to him.

“Yes dear, what is it?” Aziraphale finally replied 

Crowley, without a second thought, brought his phone to the angel’s face and showed him what he saw.

The angel gave Crowley a look that he wasn’t able to fully gauge.

“Well, “ said Aziraphale “ what exactly is this?”

Crowley began explaining to the angel what he had been doing for the past few hours and while, Aziraphale sat there looking rather unimpressed. 

When Crowley finished his story, Aziraphale shrugged and gestured, “Well, go on and read it then, I want to see why ‘no one ever comes back to my shop after the first visit’ ” and then added “not that I’m complaining about that.”

So Crowley, complying with the angel’s request, clicked the button that sent him and Aziraphale in the story of “Old Mr. Fell”.

“ Whether or not you believe me, this is a true story:

I’d only been there once, as will you if you do not heed this warning. I won’t give you my life story because it’s not important. I’d in the UK for school at the time and hadn’t been doing much around the time that I stumbled across an old book shop in London Soho. I’m not a big reader, but something about the energy surrounding this place had physically drawn me to it. I can’t describe it any better than, if I was being dragged there by something in the shop and if I hadn't been lucky, I might not have made it out alive.

The bookshop was named “A.Z. Fell and Co Est. 1800”. The atmosphere of the old bookshop was barren, despite the hundreds of books and handful of people. I walked my way through the shop, enamored by the sheer variety of books available, nothing in here looked to be under a hundred years old. I picked up one of the books off the shelf and began to leaf through the pages, it had the smell that books get when they age, I soaked it in and skimmed the pages. That was until, of course, literally out of nowhere, Mr. Fell appeared. 

“Is there anything I can help you with?” His tone was flat and unwelcoming. 

I brought up the book I was flipping through and replied, “This is a first edition Oscar Wilde, isn't it?” 

Mr. Fell’s face darkened, but he nodded his head sharply to confirm my question.

I kept talking despite this, “Well, I was looking to purchase it, we have a section coming up, dedicated to his work and I’d like to be the only one in the class with a rare copy of his.” 

Mr. Fell gave me an incredulous look after I said that, but it quickly shifted to something more...amused. He then extended out his hand as if to take the book and said “Of course, why don’t we head to the backroom to discuss this purchase over a cup of coco? I must admit that it’s going to be rather difficult for me to part with this particular book.” 

I had no reason to believe this would go sideways.

In the back room were even more books, a cabinet with a batch of mugs that had angel wings on them resting atop it, a couch with a small coffee table and stove top with a kettle on it, though it looked like it hadn't been properly used in some time. Mr. Fell directed me to sit on the couch with a hand motion toward it. 

I sat and waited.  
And waited.  
And waited.  
I waited for what seemed like days.  
I kept waiting, until my legs ached from sitting so long.  
Until my body ached, from the awkward position I’d chosen to sit in.  
I waited until my throat was dry from lack of water.  
Until my skin felt cracked from lack of care.  
I waited.  
It wasn’t for a while that I realized I wasn’t able to move my head. I could only blink and stare.  
So still I waited.  
For what felt like months.  
I began to cry, because who knows how long I’d been waiting at this point.  
Who knows how long my family has been looking for me, how many days of class I missed, who knows if I was even being looked for anymore.  
I waited.  
And waited.  
And waited.  
For what felt like years….until something finally changed and my brain jumped with excitement at that change.  
The lighting was getting darker, and that had to mean that it was a different day and Mr. Fell just put some drugs or something in my coco. That had to mean that I was going to get out of here….alive. 

Until….

In the rapidly dimming room, a pair of eyes peeked out from the newly formed shadows. They were yellow and large and attached to something...not entirely human.

My heart race spiked as I realized what the creature the eyes were attached to was.  
The snake was huge, it was ungodly how big the snake was. It’s brilliantly colored eyes grasped my soul and constricted and choked every bit of hope that I had of escaping that place alive. It sulked towards me, eyes never leaving mine. And as it got closer to me, something else happened. 

My brain was bombarded with a loud and angry sounding whisper. The sound didn’t just penetrate my ears, it shattered the very fabric of my being and before I could think about this latest development, I could feel the snake on the opposite side of the couch getting closer to me.

My heart was beating so hard and so fast that it felt like I should have been dead. 

Where had this snake come from? Was it Mr. Fell’s pet? Was this Mr. Fell? Was he going to eat me??? 

The snake got closer, eyes maintained their grasp on mine and even as the snake unhinged it’s jaw to finish me off, it’s eyes continued to lock me in place until it was mere inches from me, ready to eat me alive.

Except that didn’t actually happen, instead, the lights turned back to normal and Mr. Fell entered the room, two cup in hand and look at first very confused by the state I was in...then he turned to look at the snake besides and I swear he smiled before saying in stern voice, 

“Crowley! You wily serpent did you just….” he cut himself off and sighed, turning back to me.

“Sir, are you alright?” his voice was filled with an almost genuine concern for someone who nearly fed me to his snake.

My throat still dry, I slowly stood up, the aches in my body mysteriously gone, I looked at Mr. Fell, then at the snake and finally at the entrance of the shop and with my newly acquired relief, ran. I ran as far as possibly from that place and never turned back. I don’t know who or what Mr. Fell is, but I can tell you this, he isn’t entirely human. “

Crowley automatically burst out into hysterical laughter, dropping the phone in the process. 

Aziraphale wasn’t as amused. 

They both remembered this exact Incident. Aziraphale, although appreciative of Crowley for scaring away a potential customer, wishes he hadn’t done so in such an overzealous manner. Aziraphale was simply going to tell the boy that he wasn’t selling that particular copy of the book at the moment and send him on his way with a more “generic” copy of the book. Not scare him half to death! 

Crowley still cackling pick up the discarded phone and turned to Aziraphale 

“Well Angel, I do think that you’re a bit of an urban legend.” 

Aziraphale nodded, definitely not amused “I suppose I am.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, thank you for making it to the end! This is my first work of fanfiction (entirely) so i really hope you enjoy it! The lovely person who edited this work for me is: eldritch-core-baby, they not only edited this for but also had the prompt inspiration so please go and give them a follow on Tumblr! Please check them out before you come see me!If you want to pass me any tips so i can do this again my Tumblr account is: no-name-user-name  
> Thank you again!!! :)


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